“For everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8; emphasis mine).
Oh, what a ride it’s been…
It has been four years since I started this journey; a journey that took me away from academia and into a season of starting and growing a business and ministry.
What started out as a health coaching business quickly morphed into a ministry where getting healthy in mind and body became secondary to being spiritually healthy. This pivot in my ‘why’ was the direct reflection on what God was doing in my own heart.
God was literally transforming me from the inside-out and I couldn’t help but share it! I wanted nothing more than for others to glean nuggets of how God was changing me to shape their own lives in such a way that they put God first and every earthly pursuit second.
And so I began to write, coach, and speak to women about how to live differently – better – and healthier, with God and His truths as the foundation of everything.
Because you see, getting healthy starts with seeking God; He is where you need to start.
When you seek Him, He will change you. He will renew you and He will restore you. Nothing in this world can do that. Nothing.
This truth will not change. I will go to heaven preaching this truth.
But… there is more.
God has been working in my heart again. He is working in and through me for a new season of life; a season that is not yet well defined, although the invitation to join Him is clear.
Looking back, I see now that God has been working on my heart for over two years. It was then that I began praying about what education should look like for the 21st century where jobs have yet to be created and where automation will take over jobs that already exist.
As a mama to three, education has been weighing heavily on my heart for quite some time. I never fully understand my frustration or even why I was frustrated. For years, I lived with this frustration and has it so often does, it began eating away at me. It was at this point that I made a decision to surrender it over to God.
I began praying: “God, show me the land.” And I began meditating on God’s Word: “The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you” (Genesis 12:1).
God is always so good and so faithful! He has not only clearly and consistently shown me the “land” but asked me to join Him in this “land!”
Um, God, really? I think you have the wrong person. Who am I? Why me? Are you sure, God? I think you can find someone else! I’m not qualified nor equipped to do this! Please, find someone else!”
Yes, I feel like a modern-day Moses who also questioned God; “But Moses said to God, ‘Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?’” (Exodus 3:11).
And so here I sit with a decision to make; a decision that will alter my life for some time to come. Will I stay comfortable and continue doing what I’ve done (and loved) for the past four years or will I take a risk and join God in the place He is working?
The answer is probably obvious to you. It has, however, taken me a long time to get to a place where I can say for certain I need to go where God is leading.
There are many days when the risk seems too great. I find myself doubting and questioning the place God is calling me to. I often wonder why education, God? Is there not a different place you want me?
And in this process, I desperately want the exact roadmap of what God is going to do in my life. I want the answer, the end destination, even though I know full well He is only going to give me the next step.
Giving up my life for the next step is a huge risk. Am I strong enough to do this?
I don’t have the answers to these questions. I don’t even understand why He has brought me to this place, or what my role will be, or how He will use me. I simply know He has already answered some heart-heavy prayers and is calling me to come alongside Him in looking for different ways to educate.
With trembling knees, I must go. God has spent the last four years healing me, restoring me, and pruning me for this time. Physically, mentally, and spiritually I am ready to run again.
But, it is so hard. I really don’t want to say goodbye! You have graciously given me space to find my voice and trusted me with speaking life and truth into your heart. I’m forever grateful!
I’m ready, though. I’m ready to courageously and faithfully proclaim, “Here’s my life, Lord. It is yours! Use me how you wish. I will faithfully walk right alongside you.”
With that and through tears of sadness, I say one final goodbye. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for the past four years!